Random ruminations:
1. One thing you can say for the former male Olympic medalist now known as Caitlyn: Her coverage in the press has been way more than Jennerous.
2. Left-leaning pundits are drooling to take their jabs at Jeb. But no more so than their counterparts on the right are set to pillory Hillary.
3. Politics isn’t brain surgery. Dr. Ben Carson probably wishes it were.
4. I’ve gotten accustomed to the junk food sold in supermarkets. What I find less tasty are all those junk-magazine headlines they hit us with at the checkout registers.
5. Every time I get a report from my broker, I’m informed that the last page is “intentionally left blank.” What’s that all about? Never mind, what really scares me is the possibility that one of these months the whole account may be left blank … unintentionally.
6. Maybe this will make you feel better about aging, which we all are, including the baby born yesterday: Nobody lasts forever, not even shoemakers.
7. Personally, I don’t know a soul who’d walk a mile for a Camel today, and there aren’t many — around here at least — who’d walk a camel for a mile.
8. Jesse Waters, the Fox News roving reporter, has to have the world’s cushiest job. All he’s tasked to do is find a dozen people who are totally dumb about politics, ask them a dumb question and get a dumb answer. Just as you’d expect, the show is a big hit. You don’t have to visit a gym to find dumbbells.
9. Red Sox owner John Henry, with his slavish devotion to statistics, is a buyer in the cellar. He’s proving that stats are only stats after all, spelled forward or back. Henry might do well to hire fellow Bostonian Tom Brady as general manager. At the very least, Tom would know how to quickly deflate the expectations.
10. Yes, I know, that last sentence has a split infinitive. So sue me.
11. How long has it been since you last (a) received a picture postcard from friends or relatives on vacation, (b) got a “collect call” from anybody about anything or (c) found a neighbor at the door asking to borrow a cup of sugar?
12. Just once, by the way, I’d like to get an envelope in the mail marked “Important Document Inside” with an important document inside.
13. If we had as many rolls of duct tape on hand as we have of dental floss, our house could withstand the force of a Cat 5 hurricane.
14. Sure, take time to smell the roses, but when you’re done, check yourself all over for ticks. Speaking of which, one of my ambitions as a young man was to someday author a column about them called Tick Talk. Clock’s run out on that one, I’m afraid.
15. Nursery rhyme for our time: Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and paid his dentist twelve hundred smackers to put in a new one.
16. Political pundits are forever calling our presidential election campaigns a horse race. I don’t buy it. To me, they’re more of a turkey shoot.
17. I think the Chinese just hacked into my computer. Every word above is underlined in red ink.
Reach Worcester (Mass.) Telegram & Gazette columnist Sid McKeen at mckeensidney@gmail.com.