Funny Thing ... life.
DEAVER NAMED FULL PARTNER
The Frisch Concern announced today that Carolyn Deaver has been named a Full Managing Partner in Frisch Home Inc., reflecting the firm’s growth strategy for 2010 and its ongoing commitment to excellence.
Deaver has extensive experience with the company, having served for 2 1/2 years as Girlfriend and, for the past six months, as Acting Live-In S.O. Deaver brings to her position a wide-ranging knowledge of finances, transportation and culinary skills. By focusing on these key areas, she will allow the CEO to continue to concentrate on his core responsibilities: maintenance, recreation and processing the firm’s liquid holdings.
The promotion takes effect immediately, pending approval of the CEO’s mother.
CORPORATE NAME CHANGE PLANNED
The Frisch Concern announced today that, pending approval by the CEO’s mother of a previously announced promotion, the company will adopt a new name. Both the Frisch Concern and Frisch Home Inc. will operate under the title Frisch-Deaver Inc. The new name is intended to better reflect recent changes in management and operations, and affords to both Full Managing Partners all rights and responsibilities, legal and financial, that previously fell solely to the firm’s CEO.
SECOND PROMOTION ANNOUNCED
Frisch-Deaver Inc. announced today that Missy Deaver has been named a Junior Partner, effective upon the assumption of the office of Full Managing Partner and CFO by her mother, Carolyn Deaver.
“Missy will be a real asset to the company,” said CEO Kevin Frisch. “We have long lacked a teenage perspective in important areas such as home-entertainment technology and sleep-overs. Missy brings us not only a thorough understanding of contemporary communications and fashion, but a working knowledge of the entire first two seasons of ‘The Hills.’”
CONTRACT CHANGES IN STORE
Frisch-Deaver Inc. announced today several changes in long-standing contracts maintained by its corporate predecessor, The Frisch Concern.
Effective immediately, the company’s cable television contract will no longer include the “Silver Tier,” which encompasses several all-sports networks and BawdyVision. The company will also discontinue daily deliveries of all supplies with the words “chips,” “rolls,” “cheese” or “jelly” in their names, and will liquidate its inventory of products above 20 proof.
According to incoming CFO Carolyn Deaver, “My daughter’s going to be living here, for god’s sake!”
STAFF REDUCTION ANNOUNCED
Frisch-Deaver Inc. announced today a staff reduction. The longtime position of Roommate has been dissolved, as have its principal duties of emptying recyclable containers and napping. Television-monitoring responsibilities will be assumed by the Junior Partner.
“Zeke was a valued member of Frisch Home Inc. for many years and he will be missed,” said company CEO Kevin Frisch. “But not by the new CFO.”
Messenger managing editor Kevin Frisch’s column, Funny Thing ..., appears each Sunday in the Daily Messenger. Contact him at (585) 394-0770, ext. 257, or via e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org.